Fellow squirrels,
The day that we have hoped and prayed for our entire lives is upon us: New York City is considering putting a ban on feeding pigeons. If humans give these pesky birds food, they can get a ticket for $1000. Originally, they had tried to control the pigeon population with hawks, which was bad for squirrels as well. But, if humans can't feed pigeons, this means MORE FOOD FOR US. Start lining up outside of Magnolia Cupcakes and Papaya Dog, my furry friends. All of the snacks are ours.
Love,
Pawz
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